How to be single in Canberra: Part 2
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Where are all the eligible men in Canberra?
When I wrote my piece on dating in Canberra, I had no idea it would be so popular and prompt so many women to agree and share their own stories. It is certainly reassuring to know I am not alone—although it isn’t a good sign that more than 200 of you shared my feelings of exasperation.
The app-related disaster stories I shared were unfortunately (or fortunately because they are entertaining) just the tip of the iceberg. And I am comforted by the fact that it hasn’t all been for nothing. Aside from the personal growth I have experienced through getting out of my comfort zone and the acquisition of new red-flag detecting skills, I am very happy to give the women of Canberra a good laugh. Because if we can’t laugh about it, what hope do we have?
There are many stories about the matches who didn’t make it to the first date you’ll soon see why.
*FYI – When I have quoted a guy, this is a literal quote and not made up or embellished (I wish).
- The guy who couldn’t get over the fact that I was separated and not yet divorced and kept saying half excitedly and half nervously, “I’m on a date with a married woman”.
- The “Pilot” who was super busy and important and therefore had no time for a relationship but was up for casual dates when in town. I gave him my number and told him to let me know when he was in Canberra next. I had forgotten about him when weeks later a message popped up from an unknown number—“hey, what’s up” (swoon). Naturally, I asked who it was. He then said “So, we exchange numbers and plan to hook up and you don’t even remember me?? How many guys are you chatting with?” Notice he still didn’t identify himself and threw in a little dose of slut shaming for good measure. Fly away pilot man.
- Dirty J, so nicknamed because what started as fairly tame messaging and getting to know each other quickly descended into some pretty kinky stuff involving his desire to be yelled at and spat on. I’m no prude but…that is a pretty niche fetish. Maybe wait a minute before dropping it in the conversation.
- The lovely guy who asked where I worked and when I told him he said, “I’ve heard that is a dumping ground for f*#kwits.” Excuse me? Did you just call me a f*#kwit?
- The guy whose bio name was “ride my face”. We obviously didn’t match but I had to put this in here.
- The guy from Wagga (note the expanded search area) who I arranged to meet halfway for dinner one evening. He turned up an hour late with minimal apology and then, post-date—and on a phone call—made some pretty inappropriate comments about my dating history and my general attitude toward sex. When I called him out on it he apologised and said he was overcome by “some kind of illogical retrospective jealousy”. No red flags to see here……
- The guy who brought up a love of camping early in messages and said his favourite camping spot only had drop toilets. I told him that would be a hard pass from me as I rarely camp and if I do, I require certain mod cons such as a toilet. He insisted it was worth it for the amazing location and then argued the point so much that I actually had to say “Perhaps we can talk more about the drop toilet issue if we meet?”
- The guy who invited me to a private sex party for our first date.
So that’s it, I think. I have shared the worst of it (I really hope that is the worst of it). I do keep hearing what I believe to be urban legends of the women who found the love of their life on Tinder, however, the volume of content above and the popularity of my last story leads me to think those ladies snapped up the last of them.
