Getting your toddler to eat can be somewhat of a mystery.

One of the problems with feeding toddlers is that we treat them like adults and assume their appetites are the same as ours. This is a pretty natural assumption to make, but toddlers are in fact completely different to us when it comes to their drive for food.

Up until about the age of three, a toddler’s appetite is governed purely by hunger. They do not eat out of boredom, emotional distress or for any other reason, they only eat when they are hungry. Boredom, emotional and cultural reasons for eating are learned behaviours that begin to emerge in the preschool and childhood years (hands up if you eat when you’re stressed? You learnt to do that, it’s not innate in you).

Do you notice that your toddler goes through phases of constantly asking for food and eats you out of house an home for 3 or 4 days and then all of a sudden becomes picky and not interested? This is because their drive for food is based purely on what their body needs in terms of energy and thus their appetite changes accordingly. It might also change from meal to meal during the same day. Some kids might be really hungry at breakfast time but only pick at lunch and then be really hungry again by dinner. This is actually OK and you mustn’t worry if they don’t seem to be eating enough. They are only little and because they are eating purely based on their body’s energy needs, there are some days when they don’t need as much food as we think they do.

Always remember that a hungry toddler will eat. If they aren’t eating they’re probably not hungry. With this in mind here are a few tips to help you solve the mystery of your toddlers appetite.

One option only…

If you offer your toddler some food and they wont eat it, offering them something else until you find something they will eat often results in an extremely fussy child and a frustrated parent. A toddler will ALWAYS prefer the sweet option and quickly learns that if they refuse whatever you’re offering and you give them something different, they’ll eventually get what they want. 

Too much distraction…

When my kids were younger (1-3 years old), I found that when they were sitting in their high chairs for meals and snacks, they were much more likely to focus and eat well, compared to when they were sitting at their little table. Being at their own little table gave them the freedom to get up and walk around, which can often be too much of a distraction for a small child. Overly distracted toddlers are picky eaters, particularly when they’re trying new foods. It’s the same for distractions, such as having the TV on or mobile phones being used at the dinner table.

If you want to teach your kids how to eat at their little table (which is an important part of their learning and development) then I recommend that you do it with food that you know they will eat. That way you are only tackling one new behaviour at a time. Teaching toddlers to stay sitting at their table whilst offering them new foods or foods that they’re not overly fond of will be too much for them to handle. Keep it simple, limit distraction and keep meal times stress free.

Too much milk…

A very common reason for needlessly fussy children is excess milk consumption. As infants transition from drinking formula or breast milk to cows milk they sometimes get into a bad habit of drinking too much milk. More than 500ml of milk each day can dull a toddlers appetite and they’ll be very picky and not want to eat much at meal times. If you have a toddler who likes their milk perhaps its time to scale back their consumption a bit so they still have an appetite for other nutritious foods. Although milk is a good source of protein, calcium, vitamin B12, magnesium, zinc and phosphorus, its a very poor source of iron. A child with a dulled appetite from too much milk is not hungry enough to eat foods that are a good source of iron and other nutritious foods like fruits, vegetables, legumes, meats and wholegrains. In fact, the major cause of toddlers admitted to hospital with iron deficiency aenemia is excess milk consumption.

Watch the snacking…

Another reason why toddlers can be fussy at the dinner table is because too much snacking has gone on before meal time. Like I mentioned above, a child with a dulled appetite is not going to be keen to try new foods at dinner or eat the green vegetables on their plate. One of the best ways to get children to accept new foods is to make sure they are really hungry when you put it in front of them. Give your children a small snack about 2-3 hours before the main meal and they’ll be hungry and ready to eat when dinner time comes around.

Persevere…

In the end, toddlers and children will learn to eat and enjoy new foods eventually. Never give up. Make meal times as positive and enjoyable as possible, try to include them with the whole family when you can and be consistent. Your hard work in the early years will pay dividends later on.