How to reframe social distancing and isolation, from a Clinical Neuropsychologist

Posted on 3 April, 2020

It feels like it was only yesterday that we began emerging from our homes after a horrendously smoky summer.

Now, as this new crisis unfolds, we are being told to head back inside. Freedom to roam about and live our lives as we please is being taken away again, as we begin to socially distance and isolate ourselves.

The purpose, of course, is clear to us—for our individual safety but also for the greater good of the community. Yet you could be forgiven for feeling a little emotionally overwhelmed right about now.

The last few months have been mentally and physically challenging for us all. Our resilience has been tested to its absolute limit. But we have also witnessed much kindness and compassion, as communities come together to support one another.

While the days of us being able to meander around our beautiful city, shake hands with one another and kiss our friends on the cheek will return again soon, now is not that time.

Now is the time to show our greatest support for one another by ‘separating together’. But it’s not all doom and gloom.

Now is the time for slower days at home with our families, taking time to conserve our energy and enjoy the simple things in life.

Here are our top tips for positively reframing this period of social distancing and isolation.

Move at a slower pace

If we can force ourselves to put aside all the pandemic panic for a single moment of clarity, what we are really being asked to do is find a slower pace of life.

To stay at home with our families, and enjoy one another’s company. To reconnect with ourselves and our loved ones, and focus on what is truly important and what we cannot live without.

The simple, beautiful moments of our lives are often dismissed when we move at a rapid pace. When we are time poor we tend to focus only on the bigger things—the accomplishments and achievements.

We are often too distracted to notice the precious moments in-between. But what would life look like if we gave ourselves permission to notice these moments too?

Scientific research tells us, that when we pay attention to the simple things, life become more enjoyable. We experience a greater sense of happiness, and who doesn’t want to be happier?

Happiness is found when we allow ourselves to luxuriate in the present moment, and find meaning in these moments.

What would it feel like to sit and enjoy each mealtime together as a family; to spend a sunny morning planting a garden full of winter vegetables; to stay up past bedtime and read books with the kids in a cubby built out of bedsheets?

Why not spend this time consciously enjoying all the precious moments you may have otherwise missed. Because before long, when normality eventually returns, these moments may be harder to find.

Embrace nature

Have you ever noticed that when we are stressed, we tend to seek refuge in outdoor spaces?

Well, it turns out there’s a very good reason for this. Japanese scientists have discovered that the act of immersing yourself in nature has significant benefits to your mental and physical health.

First of all, it lowers your stress levels by switching off the sympathetic nervous system, that fight or flight response. It also brings on a state of relaxation by activating the opposing parasympathetic nervous system, or the rest and digest response.

Shinrin-yoku is the word the Japanese use when referring to the state one enters when completely surrounded by nature. Lucky for us, we live in a city with an abundance of green spaces.

Wherever you live, you don’t have to venture too far from your home before you can see green. So next time you are feeling a little overwhelmed by the current state of events, head to your local park, closest nature reserve, or take a hike up one of our beautiful mountains.

Look after yourself by stepping outside and heading for the hills!

Consciously connect and disconnect

One of our fundamental needs as a human being is connection and our love of social media comes from this neurobiological need.

As our ability to meet up and connect is temporarily removed over the coming days/weeks/months, we will naturally fall back on platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram, to remain connected with our family, friends and community.

Usage of this nature, to feel part of a broader community working together for a common cause, can be very beneficial to our psyche. But there is also a darker side to social media that we must remain aware of.

While we may start out using social media to feed our fundamental need to belong, too much time spent on these platforms can actually make us feel quite the opposite. The reason for this is based in human evolution. The human brain wired up in the caveman era, and while it has undergone some minor tweets over time, the fundamental hardwiring is largely the same.

During this time, the number one job of the human brain was to keep us alive. And if we wanted to survive, we had to remain part of the tribe. In order to be a tribe member we had to engage in behaviour that was “socially desirable”. If we decided to do things a little differently, to go against the grain, we probably got left behind.

The social part of our brain was created to constantly compare us to others, to ensure we measured up. It’s sole job is to ask the question “am I good enough?”, and it desperately wants us to behave in a way that is in line with what others are doing.

The downside of social media is that it has been specifically designed to feed this question with an endless list of possible ways we can do better. From the laundry detergent we use, to the clothes we wear, to the food we feed ourselves and our children.

Of course, some of this programming is used for the greater good, to make us more environmentally aware, and live happier, healthier lives. But it is a lot of pressure, with so many things we must change. And all this pressure can be stressful!

It’s helpful to remember that what we are comparing ourselves to is a level of perfection that doesn’t really exist. What we put on social media are our happiest moments from our best days, the things we indulge in on the rarest of occasions. An impossible standard to live up to. And it’s only really when we catch up with our friends and family face to face that these myths get dispelled, and the beautiful imperfections of others are revealed. But it’s this kind of reality check that our the social brain needs for its sanity.

As we lean on social media over the coming weeks and months to feed our need for connection, remember to keep things in perspective. Check-in with yourself as you use these platforms and use them to positively stay connected with others, but consciously disconnect when they no longer serve this purpose.

A good rule of thumb is to give yourself a maximum limit (e.g. 30 mins/day) and cut yourself off after this point. And remember to balance this out with more authentic connection. A nice way to do this is to pick one person each day to FaceTime/video chat with.

So what’s the takeaway from all this? Spend some time setting up strategies that allow you to reframe this situation we’re all currently experiencing. There are moments of slow just waiting to be discovered.

If you need a little extra help, the team at here. have skype psychology appointments available now: behere.co/service/psychology